Unshift

313 Ava: What Do You Think I Should Do?

Grimoire’s presence inside of me is unfazed after his revelations from the morning. I swear his

book form even looks cheerful, sitting there on the table.

You seem worried, Selene says, sounding distracted.

“I am. I still don’t agree with Grimoire”

About the summoning?

“Yes. Wouldn’t you know if you were summoned?”

I suppose. Selene goes quiet for a bit, before asking, How does Lucas feel about it?

Lucas.

He’s standing by the window, watching the light rain drizzle across our world. The soft patter of droplets on glass is the only sound outside of my voice. Sister Miriam and Vester left a while ago, leaving us to contemplate our next move. Lucas hasn’t spoken since they departed, his thoughts as opaque as the cloudy sky outside.

“I don’t know.”

He seems ambivalent to the idea of summoning his wolf, but I can’t blame him.

After dropping the bomb of Selene’s alleged summoning–though she denies it–he did mention. the possible negatives.

While Lucas would not lose his sense of self, he might lose his wolf. Like me, he would exist as a human. But unlike me, he wouldn’t have magic to bridge that supernatural gap.

No healing. No strength. What would happen if he were challenged then?

Is it any better than now?

His wolf would be strong, but can an Alpha survive without his internal wolf? Would the pack accept that?

Crossing the room in silence, I slip my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against the broad expanse of his back. The steady thump of his heart echoes through me. Soothing. Strong. My anchor in the storm.

Lucas large hand covers mine where they rest on his stomach. His touch is warm, familiar, yet so new. We stand like this as the rain continues its gentle patter.

and

Time stretches, undefined and uncertain. The warmth of his scent fills my lungs, surrounding me in assurance, soothing the anxiety beating in my veins.

“What do you think I should do?” His voice breaks the silence, low and rumbling. I can feel the vibration of his words through his back.

What should he do? The options before us are all shit, covered in more shit, until it becomes a

shit mountain.

A What 10 You

Do You Think I Should Do?

If it weren’t for the state of the world…

If it weren’t for the pack….

Maybe we’d have more time.

Maybe we wouldn’t be forced into these decisions.

But as I’ve learned so many times, life isn’t fair.

“I don’t know,” I admit softly. “There’s so much at stake.

Lucas’s fingers tighten slightly over mine. “Tell me what you’re thinking”

A soft sigh, with all the weight of the world in it, escapes my lips.

“Even if you keep your sense of self… I worry that you would feel as if you were living half a life without your wolf.”

I know how it feels to be so alone..

Having Selene has changed my world, but it’s still different from the bond any normal shifter has with their wolf. Distance can create emptiness within our bond. And–scariest of all–I can die and leave her alone in this world.

Or she can dic, and I’ll be alone again.

My voice wavers slightly. “And I worry about what that would mean for you as Alpha. Would the pack accept a leader without abilities?”

Lucas remains silent, but I can sense him listening intently.

I shift, pressing closer to him. “And selfishly, I miss you. The you who remembers our history.”

Lucas turns in my arms, his golden eyes searching my face. “I feel that connection with you,” he says softly. “Even without the memories, there’s something right about being with you. It’s here: He taps his chest, then mine. “Something inside of me is so happy, every time you’re near.

My heart swells. “I feel it too,” I whisper.

He cups my face in his hands, his touch gentle. “But this isn’t just about us. I have a responsibility to the pack.”

I nod, leaning into his touch.

Do you regret that we are not one body? Selene asks, still sounding distracted.

Sometimes, I admit. But I can’t imagine not being able to touch you, either.

It is the same for me.

The rush of love I can feel from her bond has me smiling, and Lucas narrows his eyes. “Are you talking to the book again?”

“No. I can’t talk to Grimoire unless I’m touching him.”

There’s a familiar yank in our bond. Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

“Speak of the devil; I murmur, pulling away.

213 Ava: What Do You Think I Should Do?

A sudden jerk pulls me back, and I find myself pressed against Lucas’s chest. His arms wrap

around me strong and possessive. The warmth of his breath tickles my ear as he nuzzles into my hair.

“I don’t like the book,” he grumbles, frustration evident in his voice.

His declaration catches me off guard. I pat his arms, trying to soothe him. “Why not?”

Lucas’s grip tightens slightly. “Grimoire is a man.”

A laugh bubbles up from my chest. “Well, he’s male in a sense, I suppose. But it’s not the same for him as it is for us.

“He’s still a man,” Lucas mutters, his tone bordering on petulant.

Another hard yank tugs at my bond with Grimoire. I can feel his impatience growing.

“I need to talk to Grimoire,” I say, attempting to pull away.

Lucas’s arms tighten around me. “Do you have to?”

For a big, strong alpha wolf, he sounds…

Childish.

I can’t help but laugh at this side of him. It’s endearing to see him so vulnerable, so different from the composed Alpha I’m used to. “I do,” I reply, my voice gentle but firm.

With a resigned sigh, Lucas releases me. But as I move towards the table, he grabs my hand, following close behind. I shake my head, amused by his persistence.

As we reach the table, I extend my free hand to touch the book. The moment my fingers make contact, a spark ignites. Magic surges through my bond with Grimoire, a rush of energy that leaves me breathless.