Chapter 201
201 Griffin
I was happy, Ayla wanted to tell our families tomorrow it would make so many things easier on us. Lying when you’re living in such a close community is difficult as we experienced when we were having our test- tasting dinner at Milo’s. Telling our families would take the edge off a little bit. Then in two weeks, we could finally tell the rest of the pack. We could finally start celebrating, being pregnant, and announcing the wedding date. Now the rest of the pack would understand why we wanted to marry so soon.
I still shudder when I think back to the fight where Ayla told me she wasn’t interested in marrying me like this. It made sense she wanted to go bridal shopping outside of the pack ground. Weddings aren’t as common for us wolves as they are for people. So there aren’t any bridal stores on pack ground, there are somewhere you can get evening dresses. White ones too and all those other shades that to me look white but have
different names.
I should have known that there was no way that Ayla would not want to get one of those dresses. I should have known that she would want to go wedding dress shopping with her friends and family. We already had to rush the wedding, she wouldn’t have minded getting married after our pup was born. I could just acknowledge it and it would still get my last name. But I wanted to be a family in every way possible before our pup was born. Of course, being as wonderful and amazing as she is Ayla agreed. And I was sure she was excited about starting our future together in yet another way too. Joking about how we took ages to mark each other, and would now have a shotgun wedding.
What caused her to be mad with me was that I figured it was a smart idea to tell her she could not go shopping for a wedding dress out of the pack ground. I don’t know what came over me. Or actually, I do, ever since Hannah was made rogue there have been rogue sightings. Up until Cynthia started
working outside of the pack ground. We suspected the rogue sightings were Hannah trying to find her way in the human world. The timing just was a little off and I was the only one who said it. Even my parents didn’t think it was as suspicious as I thought it was. Feeling alone in my worry made me lash out. I could still hear the things Ayla told me.
***
“If this marriage is all about you, and how you want it. What’s the use in even getting married? We are already mated, this marriage is nothing other than a celebration to show the love between us. It’s not all about you!” It had been so long since she raised her voice at me. Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.
The worst thing was that this time she had a good reason too. I had gotten so tired of telling people, I was worried. Only to hear them tell me that it was in my head. That I needed to take care of myself since this must be the trauma speaking. People were quick to point out how badly I had been coping with Ayla being kidnapped. They were all so quick to push aside my worries about me not coping well again. That I stopped speaking of it. It was what caused me to tell Ayla, I would not let her go out to get a dress. Instead of voicing my concerns. And when I finally did it came out all wrong.
“Because shit still isn’t safe, I don’t care that no one sees it. I love you with all that I am, you and our pup. I don’t care if no one not even you is on my side. I won’t risk the two of you and you will not leave the pack ground alone until I can be sure it’s safe out there.” The second the
words left my mouth I knew how wrong I was.
288 (Vouchers
The thing that really made my heart stop was Ayla taking the ring off her finger.
“I love you Griffin, I always will and on most days you are the best mate I could ever wish for. Lately, you’ve changed you’re becoming too obsessed with my safety and you are taking parts of my life away
away from me. Parts I am finally getting back after w me. Parts I am finally getting back after what David has done to me. You will never deem it safe enough for me to go out ever again. I wanted to
marry like my grandparents had done, and everyone after them. To honor my human heritage, to be able to say I am Misses Taylor when we are among humans. Since you will never let me be again, there is no need to get married” She didn’t sound angry anymore, she sounded sad
and broken.
Defeated even and it broke my heart, I needed to fix it. And I did right away, not planning surprises with the big gestures she feels uncomfortable with. No, I just ran after her, grabbed her hands, and kneeled in front of her again. This time to beg her not to do this, I told her all about my insecurities. I considered being overly cautious even if I still wanted to trust my gut feeling. I wanted to trust my instincts it is one of the things that set as apart from humans. That we still have survival instincts. Instincts that I have ignored only a handful of times and every time I did something bad happened. Just like I expected, but ignoring my instincts now meant that Ayla would still want to be with me. Still wants to marry me, that’s a risk I need to take.
“You need to be sure Griffin, I never meant you could not still have your own opinion when we fought. I just didn’t agree with one decision you
tried to make for me.” Ayla was talking to me and it snapped me out of my thoughts.
There is no use to feeling bad about our fight. About thinking about what I should have done better, and regretting the decisions I made then. All I could do now was do better as I promised her I would. All I could do now was to not lie to her and be honest. Like I told her I had one request I wanted to make. A way for me to still feel safe about her going out of the pack ground.
“Let’s have lunch outside of the pack ground, we will have lunch somewhere close to the wedding dress shop. And when you are going dress shopping I can start looking for my suit. As do my groomsmen, you know to make sure we all match. Knowing your dad and granddad they probably want to match too.” I told her and that much was true, there just was an extra reason why I wanted to have lunch and go suit shopping so close to where Ayla and the girls would be. As a matter of fact, Ayla now asking me if she could tell our families about the pregnancy two works sooner. Wasn’t just good news because I was happy to tell them. It was the perfect excuse for me, but I was unsure what Ayla would feel about it. I couldn’t lie to her either so I took a deep breath as I prepared myself to tell her.