The Glimpse of My Past

Liam’s P. O. V.

“D-Diane, are you okay?” I knew she was not, and yet, I still asked her. My heart sank when she just smiled at me before her eyes heavily drifted, prompting her to lose consciousness.

“No, Diane… o-open your eyes, please! Oh, God… please, don’t take her away from me.” My right hand softly held her cheeks. I touched some of her blood, and the pain was burning within me.

‘Goddamn it!’

It was all my fault. If I hadn’t rushed us to get married-if we hadn’t left tonight and just moved the flight tomorrow morning-this accident wouldn’t have happened at all.

And one more thing-I should have checked the car first before using it. But I couldn’t help but wonder about how this happened.

After everything that occurred during the day, who would have ever thought that we would meet an accident tonight? I safely arrived at their house earlier, and my car had just finished its quarterly preventive maintenance.

‘Did someone plot this? No, I hope not. Stop overthinking, Liam. It was an accident!’ Despite the throbbing pain, I shook my head while dismissing the bad images lurking on my mind.

In just a few moments, people responded to what had happened to us, including our family and friends. With the severity of my wounds and injuries, I could feel like my eyelids were drooping low due to the state of lethargy and drowsiness.

My muscles were aching, and there was also blood on my face. I started to feel cold as my body stiffened.

But as much as possible, I didn’t want to sleep-not until I made sure that Diane was already safe. I could feel like I also had a head contusion and shoulder fracture, but I tried so hard to retain my consciousness for the sake of Diane-because it was only her who matters to me right now.

Uncle Greco and other bystanders helped me get outside my wrecked and damaged car while Diane was still inside of it. With my remaining strength, I couldn’t help but punch the nearest post after seeing how Diane’s blood kept on gushing down her beautiful face.

Just by glancing at her already killed me. I broke my right fist, but I was already numb to feel it.

They couldn’t take my fiancée’s body out of the car that easily, because unlike me, half of her body seemed to have been critically trapped in the front seat. With her position, Diane’s breathing could be compromised as well due to her compressed abdomen.

With Diane’s siblings, her mother couldn’t get more shock after seeing her. Mommy Cecille almost fainted and collapsed on the ground, but I was quick enough to catch her.

Diane was hanging over her seatbelt, and I didn’t know how her internal blood flow could be affected by the suspension trauma from the incident. I thanked God because soon after, an ambulance came.

The rescue team even asked me if they could remove the door on Diane’s side. I didn’t care about my car anymore, so I advised them to stick with that tactic and do their best to remove my fiancée safely.

“P-Please, take good care of her.” It was all I could utter.

Then, the responders carefully pulled out Diane’s body as mixed rage and dread endlessly pounded inside my chest. With Diane’s case, the victim handling provided additional challenges to the rescuers before they could even lay her body on the stretcher. 

Holding my breath for quite a while, I sighed with relief when they really took care of Diane’s body-most especially her head. They told me that she still had slow pulse rates, and that was when they gave her an oxygen mask for her to breathe well.

Only immediate family members could ride the ambulance, so only Diane’s mother and siblings were with me. Shey, with Uncle Greco, Karen, Lorenz, and the rest of our company, advised me that they would be arriving next to the hospital as soon as possible.

Diane’s mother and siblings were all crying. I was holding Diane’s hand while controlling my tears from falling.

‘Why does it have to happen to us? Was God already punishing me for the horrendous sin I did in the past?’

One nurse insisted that she needed to apply an immediate first aid into my wounds, but I refused and didn’t care. I knew that I got a head injury and bone fracture as well, but all I cared about right now was Diane’s safety. For all I knew, I had a high tolerance to pain.

“Diane, please… not now! Please, don’t leave me. We’re still getting married, aren’t we? We will still build our own family and be the best parents to our future kids. Please, wake up now.” Tears were rolling down my face when the rescue team transferred her body from the ambulance to the hospital.

Determined not to leave her, I continued to hold her left hand while keeping my pace at the same velocity rate as her stretcher. What hurts me the most was seeing the engagement ring that I gave her.

It reminded me of so much happiness I felt a while ago. Now, it was so painful. Reminiscing about how Diane said ‘yes’ to me, I didn’t mind the nurse who kept on insisting that I should also be given immediate care and medical attention.

They took Diane straight to the operating room, and I, along with her family, remained outside and was left with nothing to do but wait on her progress. Out of kindness, they let us see her, but just after a few seconds, she was already being revived with a life defibrillator.

That was when I worried so much about Diane. As far as my knowledge was concerned, a defibrillator is a medical device used to restore a normal heartbeat by sending an electric pulse or shock to the heart. 

There was a straight flat line on the screen, so her Mom and siblings cried even more. I even heard the doctor instruct his assistant to dose the current to two hundred Joules.

“Clear!” I heard the doctor say. With Diane’s body going up and down due to the electric shock that was being applied to it, I just couldn’t believe what was happening right in front of me.

My whole world was shattering into pieces-tearing and killing me slowly. How I wished that everything was only a dream, but it was all happening in reality.

“If you could hear me, Diane… please fight for your life, sweetheart. I know that you could get through this,” said Mommy Cecille. Her tears were not stopping.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

“Why, sis? Why would you allow us to s-see you like this? We were just celebrating a while ago, and you would still have to browse all the great engagement photos that I captured. Not to mention that your wedding would be tomorrow.” David uttered, full of sorrow.

“You would still see me graduate as Cum Laude and become a successful engineer someday, right? Please wake up and tell us that everything was only a prank,” he continued. Like his Mom, he couldn’t stop his tears anymore.

“Big sis, can you wake up now… please? You will still braid my hair in front of your vintage mirror. You will even make clothes for my paper dolls, and we will eat adobo with lots of potatoes together!” Denise howled.

“Wake up, please! If not, I will kill myself by eating shrimps. You won’t ever want that to happen, right?” Denise threatened her unconscious sister as she couldn’t control her tears while sniffing.

“Please, Diane… please don’t give up! I love you so much, and I couldn’t live without you,” I told her. I opted to hold her, but the nurses wouldn’t allow me to do so.

It was all my fault why Diane was here. I shouldn’t have rushed things. I couldn’t control myself anymore that before I noticed it, I had already punched the wall. I broke my right knuckles for the second time around, which added to my injuries but then again, I just didn’t care at all.

We all thanked God when Diane’s vital signs became stable but soon after, she suffered a seizure that made her heart monitor produce again a flat line. That was when the nurses advised us to leave the room and just patiently wait outside.

The doctor was doing all his best to revive Diane, but the beeping sound that I heard made me freeze with anxiety, that I couldn’t think straight anymore. I drowned in fear, especially when the doctor told his assistant to dose the current higher to three hundred Joules.

‘That was too high! Can Diane’s body withstand that three hundred Joules?’ Terror stabbed my heart with that thought. I wanted to face the doctor and grab the defibrillator from him, but I was not in the right position.

Still baffled about how things went through, I didn’t want to leave Diane in the operating room. I just wanted to stay beside her and watch her open her eyes again. I couldn’t afford to lose her, and if something bad would happen to her, I would never forgive myself. I was so selfish.

It was all my fault because I was the one who did this to her. Right in front of me was the consequence of hiding the truth and rushing things just because I was too scared to lose her. Now, I could accept losing her because of that one damn truth… but I would never want to lose her in any other way.

“Liam, it was an accident. No one wants this to happen, so please… just for Diane, don’t blame yourself. You have wounds as well, and you need to be treated as soon as possible,” said Mommy Cecille, who seemed to have read what was on my mind-that I was blaming myself over everything. Her puffy eyes were still full of tears.

“I’m fine, Mom… so don’t worry about me. I will be with you until we have the result here. I will get medical treatment later once I am sure that Diane is already safe,” I told her while despair was suffocating me. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have rushed things…”

My voice was shrilled with terror as I didn’t know what to do anymore. “I love your daughter so much, and for her, I am willing to do everything. I should have been the one inside fighting for my life and not her… I’m so sorry.”

“There is nothing to be sorry about, Liam. If Diane is awake, she wouldn’t have ever wanted to see you this way. It’s alright, son…” Mommy Cecille almost whispered as she pulled me into a quick hug, stroked, and gently patted my back until we were interrupted by someone.