Teacher's Girl (Aflyingwhale)

Chapter 90: Little Lies 

EMMA’s POV :

I waited for three days.

I didn’t leave my room and I cried nonstop.

Tristan and Sophie tried everything to cheer me up, but I just wanted to be alone.

For three days and three nights, I couldn’t sleep and I could barely eat.

I only left my room to take my exams, but that was it. All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.

lan didn't come to see me or even call me.

Not even once.

I was in denial at first.

I thought, surely he would call.

Surely he would apologize.

But he never did.

He really wanted out of our relationship.

I didn’t see this coming at all.

I should have.

The signs were all there.

Ever since he moved to New York City and started that gallery with her, that was all he could ever talk about.

They were together twenty four seven.

Clearly, they were into each other.

It was only a matter of time.

And now it was done, there was no denying it.

He chose her.

And why would he not? She was beautiful and smart.

They were great friends.

Life with her would be easier and less complicated.

I guess she gave him things I couldn't give to him.

After three days of punishing myself and wallowing in my heartbreak, I got a call that would change the course of my life.

At first, I thought it was lan, but it was actually the dean of my department.

She congratulated me, telling me that I got into the Paris program.

She explained everything in detail, how the program works and what my next steps would be like.

When she asked me if I had any questions, I told her I have just one.

"How soon can I leave?"

"The program itself starts in the fall, but you can leave as soon as you're done with your finals.Paris is beautiful in the summer.You'll have a wonderful time exploring the city,"she said.

Long story short, I took her advice.

In the next few days, I finished my finals, booked a ticket and Airbnb, and packed my bags.

I said goodbye to Tristan and Sophie, we had dinner together and Sophie was balling her eyes out, saying that she'll come to visit me in Paris.

I also talked to my parents on the phone, they were supportive of my decision and they told me to call every week, and I agreed to it.

Everything was set and done, I was ready to go.

Of course, I couldn’t just go without saying goodbye to lan.

Despite our terrible falling out, it didn't feel right leaving without saying anything.

I thought about going to the city and talk to him in person, but after our last conversation, I didn’t think I could see his face any more.

It was too painful.So instead, I wrote him a letter.

It was already Sunday and I didn’t have time to get a stamp and send it to the post office, so I left the letter with Sophie.

She promised that she’d get it done tomorrow.

Tristan didn’t say much as I said goodbye to him, but I knew he was sad to see me leave.

I was sad too, honestly, but staying was gonna be even harder.

Paris was exactly what I needed right now and we both knew it.

So on that fateful Sunday morning, I took my bags and I got on a cab.

Tristan and Sophie wanted to take me to the airport, but I told them not to.

It was hard enough saying goodbye at the apartment.I didn’t wanna make things worse.

As the taxicab rode through town, I was reminded of the memories I’ve had in Philly.

I remembered the first time lan and I drove up to campus.

He helped me move in and I met Sophie and Tristan.

I remembered the parties I went to, the study nights, the holidays, the late night phone calls, and the train trips to New York City.

They were beautiful memories.

Some were more painful than the others, but beautiful nonetheless.

But now, it was time to leave it all behind.

Love came and went like the seasons that change.

Our love story had come to an end.

But with every story that ends, another one will begin.

I chose to believe in that.

So as the plane took off and I was brought up 30,000 feet into the air, I closed my eyes and closed the chapter on us.

This was the end, and a new beginning shall begin.

---- Two Months Later - - - -

I was right.

Or actually, the band Semisonic was right when they sang, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end".

I had a lovely summer in Paris.

Of course, I cried all night long the first week I was there.

But after that first week, I made friends through the guesthouse I stayed in.I also met new people that attended the same program as me.

I went and did an interview for a creative e-commerce company called Le Parisien, and they hired me as an intern, starting in the fall.I also visited the Sorbonne campus for the international student mixer, and that was a lot of fun.I also took full advantage of the late academic starting dates in Europe by taking a little road trip with the friends I made at the guesthouse.

We backpacked through Croatia, Italy, and Spain, before spending some time in the south of France.It was truly an unforgettable experience.I saw probably some of the most beautiful beaches in the world.And some of the most beautiful people too.

Wink, wink.

I didn't mean I was on going on dates or whatever.I was done with love, not at this moment at least.I did, however, enjoy the occasional attention guys would give me, and I'd admit that I checked out some guys that I thought was attractive.

But that was it.

I never acted on anything as I had sworn off men.I didn't want no drama any more.I just wanted a peaceful cultural study abroad experience, and if hot French guys happened to be around...well, I would watch, but not touch!

---- Three Months Later - - - -

Time was flying by as soon as I started the fall semester at Sorbonne.

My days were filled with taking classes at the university, making new friends every chance I could, and interning at Le Parisien for three days a week.

In my free time, I took a French speaking class and attended events like wine tasting or trying out Michelin starred restaurants.

I barely had any time for myself, but I was fine with that.

I wanted to experience to the fullest.

Summer was gone as the air cooled and the leaves started to fall all around the city.

The fall season was beautiful, but it came and went just as fast as the summer did.

Before I knew it, I was nearing the end of December and the first break of my semester.

Christmas was approaching and Sophie and Tristan were coming to visit me.

Sophie, like always, managed to find cheap tickets and she convinced Tristan to come.

I was excited for them to come visit Paris.

I even made a seven day itinerary, listing all the places I would like Sophie and Tristan to see.

As if that wasn’t amazing enough, my other two best friends decided to join in as well.

Tiff and Carrie got on a plane and came to surprise me! They missed me terribly, but mainly they were also worried about me.

I didn’t tell them about the breakup with lan until a few months ago.

I always dodged the subject because if I said it out loud, it became so much more real.

When I couldn't lie anymore, I told Tiff and Carrie everything and they wanted to jump on an airplane right away.

I told them to chill and explained that everything was fine with me.

Things were going great in my life and they had no reason to be upset.

So, long story short, I got to spend the Christmas holiday with my four favorite people in the world.

My favorite memory of the entire holiday was our trip to Disneyland.

We went there on Christmas Eve and though it was packed with people, we had a lot of fun.

We ate so many sweets, rode so many rides, and watched the fireworks at the end of the night.

And then the cutest thing in the world happened; Tristan and Tiff kissed during the fireworks! « I couldn't be happier for them.

They were perfect for each other.

The moment Tiff laid eyes on Tristan when they first met, I knew she liked him then and there.

But she was playing hard to get and Tristan wasn’t the aggressive type.

It took them a whole week of exploring Paris and a trip to Disneyland before they finally admitted that they were into each other.

That was really sweet.

Before I knew it, another week had passed and it was time for my friends to go back home.

We spent our last night together in their Airbnb.

Sophie and Tristan had booked a two bedroom apartment in the city and it was big enough for all five of us.

After dinner and some drinks, Tristan and Tiff retired to one of the bedrooms.

Carrie, Sophie, and I would use the other one.

It was 2 AM in the morning and I was lying in bed next to Carrie and Sophie as we talked about life, love, and other girl stuff.

Carrie had fallen asleep at this point, so it was just Sophie and I talking.

She was telling me about her latest relationship woes with Micah and I was just listening patiently.

"Hey, Emmie..."Sophie said suddenly.

"Hmm?"my eyes were closed and I was half asleep by this point.

"Tristan didn’t want me to tell you this, but I think you should know...lan came to the apartment the day you left,"

"He did?"my eyes shot up instantly.

"I gave him your letter, then he asked us where you were, and I told him you were leaving for Paris,"

"Oh..."I mouthed.

That was weird.lan waited a week before he decided to come look for me?

"Did he ever contact you?"she asked.

"No..."

Granted, I changed my phone number when I got here, but there were other ways for him to contact me.

I had social media.

He knew my emails.

"I know you said he chose another girl over you, but from the way he was looking for you that day, it looked like he was still in love with you,"

Sophie said.I found that hard to believe.If he loved me, why did he choose Ally over me? Why did he treat me that way? And why did he let me go so easily?

"Do you still love him?"she asked.I didn’t answer her, but I didn't have to.

My eyes pooled with tears and Sophie knew the answer right away.

"Whatever Soph, the past is in the past,"

I shrugged, trying to sound as casual as possible, "It's been eight months and he’s three thousand miles away,"

"But you dated him for almost four years,"

"Not entirely for four years.We broke up here and there a few times,"

"It was always rocky, huh?"

"Not always, but sometimes, yeah,"I admitted.

"Do you think you guys will get back together?"

I thought about the question for a while before answering,

"No..."

"We've tried it so many times already.We're just not meant to be.It sucks when you think you’re soul mates with someone, but then you realize you're just two dumb people who were once in love,"Sophie listened patiently.

There was a while of silence between us until she said, "So...are you like, moved on now?"

Have I really moved on? Great question and the answer to that would be: No.Hell no.

Of course, not.As much as I wanted to, there was no way I was over lan.

I had never loved anyone as much as I loved him.I never felt anything remotely close to what I've felt for him.I might never find anything like that again, ever.

All I've been doing was keeping myself busy and suppressing my feelings.

But with each day that passed, I was still haunted by the gnawing hole in my heart.I missed him so bad, it literally hurt.

I thought about him all the time, even when I was out talking to people or traveling to new places — he was always on my mind.

I never said it out loud or acted on it because I was so deep in denial.I put up a good front, but on the inside, I was dying.

"I wish I've moved on.I wish I could.You don't know how bad I wish I could,"

"Oh, Emmie, don't beat yourself up,"

"Breakups are like grieving.It’s a process.It's gonna take some time, but you're on the right track.

The first step is to admit to your denial,"

"How do I get to the last step? Is there a shortcut?"

"There are no shortcuts when it comes to the matter of the heart,"

"I just wanna move on already.I’m tired of this torture,"

"You'll get through this, I promise,"

Sophie hugged me and stroked my hair gently as we fell asleep that night.

As comforting as that was, it wasn't enough to cover the gigantic hole in my heart.

I thought that with time the pain should be healed, but it was only getting worse and worse.I hated this.I hated him for putting me through this.

For eight months I was haunted by memories and thoughts of him.

I could only wonder if he’d thought of me as much as I've thought of him.I looked over to my side and saw that Sophie had fallen asleep.

Meanwhile, I was absolutely wide awake.Our conversation had awoken me completely.

Without thinking too much, my hand reached for my phone aimlessly and I did the first thing that came to mind.I typed in ‘lan Hayes’ to a google search.