Scream For me

God, why was I always so scattered!? This was my fault. If only I’d cleaned up and erased my so-called footsteps in the snow…

“I’ve been working hard,” I said again in a small voice. Surely, that counted for something? I’d tried to be the best employee to Hannah I could be. Minus the lying and deceit, of course.

“You’ve been doing what I asked of you, yeah. But you’re hardly ever in the office anymore, and I’m starting to see why. How long did you think you would hide this from me?”

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “I made a mistake, and I panicked. I couldn’t afford you to kick me out, so I went to fix it, and it’s been working. I mean, Aaron is really happy, and Ben is taken care of, and”

“And you aren’t qualified to be a nanny at all. You have no certifications. You haven’t gone on any of my workshops…if you were interested in that, I could have sent you to all those things.”

“It wasn’t planned,” I argued. “It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. But everyone is happy. Isn’t that what we should focus on?”

Hannah shook her head and glanced toward the window, thinking.

“What if something went wrong? What if the child got hurt, and you have no idea what you’re doing? You can’t even do basic CPR.” “There are hospitals for that,” I pointed out.

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” I asked. “I did a good job. I read he’s a good kid.”

“It’s about the company’s reputation,” Hannah said. “I’ve worked long and hard to grow Placement into a company with a good name. People come to us because they know that we offer quality service with well-trained nannies for their children. We’re talking about what people hold most dear, Jade.”

I shook my head. I understood what Hannah was trying to say and what her company was all about. I’d seen her start the company and how she’d grown it until it was what it was today. That didn’t change the fact that I’d done something good for Aaron and Ben.

“Maybe I could have gotten over the fact that you’re not qualified if you didn’t lie to me,” Hannah said.

“I didn’t know how to tell you. You were going to fire me!”

“You should have been honest with me.”

“I saved a client instead of losing him to another company,” I countered.

“You lied to me, Jade. You went behind my back. That’s what this is about. Not about you doing a good job, because I assume Aaron is happy since you’ve been there that long. This isn’t about anything other than the fact that I can’t trust you, and if I can’t trust you, you can’t work here.” My jaw dropped, and I stared at Hannah, blinking.

“You’re firing me?” I asked in a high-pitched voice. “I’ve done the best work you’ve ever seen from me these past couple of weeks! I’ve done everything you wanted and more. I pulled myself up. I fixed the problem you had with me…I did everything right! You can’t just fire me!”

Hannah sighed. “You were on your last warning, and this is a big no-no to me. It’s not about the nanny part. It’s not about the client being unhappy or the child being in danger, although I would have worried myself sick about that if I’d known you were there without the right resources. This is about integrity. I can’t trust you. I’m sorry, Jade.”

“Hannah, please don’t do this,” I pleaded, but Hannah’s eyes were hard, and her jaw clenched. There would be no flex on this oneHannah had made up her mind. She was my aunt; she’d been like more of a sister to me growing up, but now she was my boss. At least, she used to be.

I’d just been fired.

“I’ll contact Aaron and place a new nanny with him,” Hannah said.

“Please, let me be the one to talk to him,” I said. I didn’t want him to know the truth. I didn’t want him to know that I’d lied to him, too.

“I’m sorry, Jade, I can’t do that. I have to do the right thing for the company, and Aaron Steele is a client who needs to be taken care of.”

“Fine,” I said and stood, trying to keep it together. A lump rose in my throat, and I felt like I was about to fall apart, but I wouldn’t do it in front of Hannah. Until now, I’d been able to turn to her in times of need. I’d always been able to confide in her and cry on her shoulder. That was goneI wouldn’t allow her to see how much this hurt me.

“I’ll have my things packed up by the end of the day,” I said dully.

“You do that,” Hannah answered with an equal lack of emotion.

I opened the door and left her office without looking back at her.

Being fired wasn’t the problemI’d saved up the extra cash I’d gotten from being Aaron’s nanny, so I had something to fall back on. I’d been financially wise for a change, and I’d felt so good about my progress. What got me was the fact that Hannahmy friend, my familyhad just fired me.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I’d done the wrong thing, but I’d done it for the right reasons.

Didn’t that count for anything?

She was going to call Aaron, and then the shit was going to hit the fan in a whole new way. I couldn’t let that happen.

I had to talk to him and explain what was happening before she called him. I should have tried harder on our week in Aspen. I should have just come out and told him the truth.

Instead of walking to my desk to take care of business to pack up my things, I hurried out of the office building and to my car. I had to go to Aaron to see himI had to talk to him about all of this before he got the call from Hannah. Rather he heard it from me than from her, whatever the consequences. I had to do the right thing at least once before all of this blew up in my face.

I just hoped I wasn’t too late.