Living With The Player

**CAMILLA RENÉE**

FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

STARMOON STADIUM.

Fuck cation and the knowledge that we could get caught at this moment.

Fuck all my anxieties including one that he might leave me when we move out.

Screw it that our relationship remains indefinite even after more than one make-out session.

We are flub. In our way, Dylan and I are just two screwed up teenagers but you know what? Fuck that too.

We have a record together and somehow, I can’t seem to get rid of him even if I tried, I’m tired of avoiding the inevitable.

Fuck everything. At this instant, it’s just his lips on mine, any and every other thing is irrelevant and not worth it.

A little too soon, He pulls away panting and huffing for breath. He just won an entire match. It’s anticipated I guess.

“You should go change before someone sees.”

I mumbled, leaning further into his chest with my hand over the lines.

“Yes. Come on.”

He retorted, ridding his throat then pulling me towards the locker room.

****

In the convenience of the locker room, He picked up gently to the awe and amusement of everyone inside.

The boys are shirtless and cheering for the win, everyone is either wet or screaming, most are both.

I chuckle as soon as I’m down on my feet.

My skin is warm and all tingly, electric current gushing through me at this instant.

I haven’t been this happy in a while.

“I’ll go change, there’s a victory party and you’re coming with me because we have a lot to talk about. There’s something I’ve been dying to tell you.”

Ducking his head, he pecks my cheeks then scurries away.

*Something to tell me?*

Does he want to ask me out?

Fuck no. That’s an absurdity. Dylan would never settle for someone like me.

I dock into a corner left with my thoughts and the sound of everyone cheering happily. He sure knows how to exit.

It’s futile trying to think of it because nothing comes to mind.

I have to wait for him to come back and fill in the blank spaces. I am eager though. Eager and curious. A part of me blushes at the thought of him wanting to you know *to date me*

“Hello, Camilla.”

Brandon utters behind me with a grunt snapping me out of my little Disney land. I thought this is our locker room only. Ugh.

I swirl around with a full smirk, taunting him with so much satisfaction.

“Don’t be so cocky. We might have lost today but this isn’t over. You and I aren’t over.”

He emphasises, gazing intently.

I’m shaken, but I don’t let it reach my eyes. The time of his *bullying* is over.

“Empty threats from a person who’s clearly out of options. You lost Brandon. Accept it and move the hell on!”

I clench my teeth then move away before he gets any ideas.

Then I run into a wall and Dylan’s hands are around my waist, gripping me protectively or is it possessively? Can’t think of that now, much less with his cologne filling my nostrils faster than the speed of light.

“I thought you wouldn’t have the balls to attend the game. Guess I was wrong.”

I grit my teeth in annoyance. Why the hell did he have to come around?

“You’re crazier than I thought if you envisioned me missing out on an opportunity to laugh it up in your face that we beat you. A maniac even.”

I lean into Dylan muffling my giggles.

“Anyways, have fun at the loser party. If there is one. For the next season, just a little tip from the *winners* bring in your best. Focus on trying to be better instead of thinning the competition, it never works out.”

Dylan clicks his tongue probably with one of his smirks, I’m focused on Brandon so I don’t get a glimpse of his face.

“I texted my parents that we might come home late so they won’t make a big deal or fuzz about it.”

He mutters, moving to stand beside me.

“Bye Brandon.”

I tease, pulling Dylan out of the locker room before any further exchange of words. It’s too much of a happy day to let Brandon Reed come between it. Plus Dylan has something important to tell me.

“Eager much?”

My subconscious teases. I flip her off without much of a comeback. She’s me. She’s also right.

“So what next?”

“We party.”

He mouths, linking our fingers together.

Our fingers were laced as we moved towards his bike. It’s a good thing be had it brought here. Dylan had shifted into a simple shirt and black jeans. The head warmer was back on and he looked extremely cute in this outfit.

****

We drive around the city till about six pm when the party will begin.

Dylan had texted his parents again about our location, so that wasn’t an issue.

Inside the party, drinks were flowing freely. We’re at one of the seniors’ houses.

It’s a frat house where the gates are always open.

This was certainly a celebration. There’s vodka. Tequilla. Wine. Everything except water and my throat is dry.

“I know I’ve said this before, but I’m grateful for everything you did. Getting me to play and win. Thank you, Camilla.”

Our fingers were still intertwined. I shuddered, meeting his soft gaze.

“You don’t have to thank me. It was partially my fault even if you won’t admit it, I would never be able to live with myself if you didn’t play.”

He nodded slowly then sucked in a quick breath.

“As to what I wanted to talk about…”

He wandered off, breaking our hand-holding to reach for his hair.

Dylan’s nervous.

I pout within me at the loss of contact.

“Y-Yes…”

I stuttered, clearing my throat.

“There’s something I have to clear up. It’s about the two of us.”

I choked hard. Clear up? That’s not a good way to start the sentence

“Today will go down in books. Nate Donavon. I had doubts when Dylan wasn’t allowed to play, but now Nate proved us all wrong. There are even rumours that a school might offer him a scholarship after that play today. Who knows how many advisors were present today.”

I listened keenly to a conversation between two people at the back.

They didn’t know we were seated nearby.

Their words are registering in my head and my heart rips apart.

I didn’t consider one thing while trying to help Dylan.

I was so desperate, I did anything to ensure he played. I didn’t stop to think he gave glory to someone else.

Dylan played so expertly, everyone noticed. They think it’s Nate. Nate will get all the praise. Not Dylan.

I’m not Dylan but I can only imagine how it will feel. The coach will know but he can’t do shit. Dylan will stand there and eat those words, listening to them without being able to react.

What was I thinking?

“I need to go get a drink. Do you want?”

I snap my head to his face, it had altered into a small frown.

“No, I’m fine.”

I reply slowly. He heard them.

Plopping off the seat, he struts away towards the kitchen leaving me alone to my uncollected thoughts.

******

“Don’t drink please.”

I stretch for the bottle after his third shot.

“Take a seat, let’s talk about it. Alcohol won’t help.”

I wince at his hard look.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

“What’s there to talk about. It’s selfish of me to be mad.”

He snorts, dropping the glass over the table.

“It’s not Dylan. You did everything, you played gracefully and he gets to take the credit. It’s not selfish if you’re hurt. You have a right to be.”

Placing a hand over his, I tilt my head to meet his eyes. He looks away almost immediately. Now I feel even worse.

“He volunteered to back down when no one would. He did something selfless for my benefit and now I’m furious, it’s selfish.”

Dylan retorts harshly, as though he were scolding himself.

“That’s right. He’s might also get a scholarship because of you. Not okay. You’re entitled to a pang of pain.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I did it again, creating a bigger problem whilst trying to fix one.”

I sigh sadly, knitting our fingers.

“I’ll try to fix it.”

I whimper lowly. I have to.

“Let’s put that aside, we won and I’ll try to remain happy for that fact. At least for now. We were talking about something before all that came about…”

I took a deep breath. Moment of truth.

“I’m listening.”

“I have something to say to you. A few things. I don’t want you to interrupt me till I’m done talking. Don’t say anything. Just listen.”

I nod my head and he breathes out.

“When you came to live with us, I had mixed feelings about it mostly because there was something about you I couldn’t deduce, I understand why I felt that way now, but there’s something else which I still can’t get. I don’t do relationships or dates. I’m a player and that’s it. I’ve been telling myself those words for weeks now, but I know deep down they don’t apply when it comes to you. Camilla, I’m not sure how or why but I don’t want to play you. I just want you. I don’t know how to express it more than that. Do you even understand what I’m saying or….”

I exhaled and stared at him. He gaped at me awaiting an answer.

“You said not to interrupt until you’re done…”

I blurted out. He twitched his lips then rolled his eyes. Maybe not the best response to that.

*You think?*

My inner self chuckled with mischief at my peril.

******

*Author’s Note*

*Not as long as yesterday’s but… First confession of many I can assure you. I can’t wait till Camilla… no spoilers!! I’ll update soon. Lol*