How to Honeymoon Alone

Phillip had kissed me until the downpour lessened, until the heavy drops turned into a soft drizzle, and the sun made its triumphant return. I’d tipped my head back and whispered that I could get used to this.

He’d paused, lips at my neck, and a splinter of fear cut through the feelings of pleasure. I hadn’t meant to hint at the future. It didn’t exist, not yet, not here.

But then, he’d continued to kiss me as if I hadn’t spoken, and that had been that.

After the shower, I quickly put on some makeup and slip into a sundress. My hair will have to be damp. At least it’s clean, and it’ll dry fast in the tropical heat.

Kaelie is waiting for me when I arrive at the hotel bar.

Nerves twist in my stomach for the first time today. I hadn’t spent much time thinking about this meeting. About her being here or what she might tell Caleb about me.

It feels like I’m heading into a battle where the weapon of choice is delicately phrased small talk.

“Eden,” she says and gets out of her chair for a hug. “I’m so glad we could do this.”

“Me, too,” I say, but I don’t really mean it. My voice doesn’t betray that, though. It’s polite and upbeat.

“Did you have a good day?”

“Yes. I went for a hike, actually,” I say. “It’s truly a stunning place. Have you gotten to see much of the island?”

She nods and uses the straw to stir her drink. “I’ve been with the photographer today, shooting a few key spots for work. You didn’t hike alone, did you? That sounds dangerous.”

“No, I was with my… friend.”

“Oh, your friend from last night?” Her voice is carefully neutral.

“Yes, him.”

“That’s so exciting,” she says and lifts the drink to her lips. Her eyes widen like she’s expecting me to spill all the deets.

I order a rum punch instead.

An uneasy silence falls between us, and I shift in my seat. Consider my opponent. We’ve always been friendly, even if we’d only met a dozen or so times. Those occasions were usually brief, taking place at family barbecues or during the summer stays at Caleb’s parents’ lake cabin. I’d liked Kaelie and even reached out to her with a few questions about this trip, but now it feels like a trench has opened up across the table.

“What are you going to write about the island and the resort?” I ask. “For your agency?”

She smiles, and we spend a solid ten minutes talking about things very far from either of us and miles away from the man we have in common.

I finally ask her the one thing I need to know, despite my rapidly beating heart. “And they just happened to send you here?” I ask. “At the same time I’m on my… trip?”

Kaelie looks down at her drink. “Yes, but I did ask for it, too. This is part of a big Caribbean project we’re working on, and I requested Barbados for these dates. I won’t be here long, Eden. I’m flying out to St. Lucia tomorrow.”

So, she’d specifically timed it. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

“I considered texting you before the trip, but…” Kaelie shakes her head. “I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I knew I wanted to see you, though.”

“Yeah. You and I have always been friendly,” I say. “That doesn’t have to change just because of what happened with Caleb and me.”

She gives me a genuine smile. “I’m so happy to hear that. Honestly, Eden, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, what happened between you and Caleb. He’s been… well, he hasn’t been himself since you broke off your engagement.”

Something sour strikes my throat, like the rum punch is finally delivering on the second word of its name. “Since we broke up, you mean.”

“Mm-hmm. The rest of us are kind of at a loss about the whole thing. He won’t talk to us about it, except to say you changed your mind.” Her smile is tentative, and her words are careful. “Eden, as you know, his parents put in the non-refundable deposit on the venue.”

I close my eyes. The tide of emotions swelling inside me feels like a wave too great to surf. I’d spent months trying to get over the whole thing. Caleb. Cindy. Every well-meaning relative on my side who asked questions.

I don’t have to feel bad for his parents, too, I think, even if they’re nice people. There’s a limit to what I can handle, and Caleb has to carry his share of the responsibility.

“Kaelie-” I start.

“Wait, just hear me out,” she urges. “Caleb is really sorry. He said you won’t answer his texts or calls, and that you’ve blocked him entirely. You two were together for seven years. Do you think that’s really fair? Eden, whatever happened, please know he’s sorry for it. He wants you back.”

The turmoil inside me is replaced with ice. It burns, it’s so cold. “He said that?”

She nods. “Yes, just a week or two ago.”

“And you two spoke before you came here… did he ask you to do this? Schedule your work trip so you’d meet up with me?”

“Well…” She shrugs, a sheepish smile on her face. “Yes. He’s my favorite cousin, Eden. You know that.”

I close my eyes. “Oh my God, I can’t believe his fucking nerve.”

There’s a shocked silence across the table. “Eden…”

“No, he doesn’t get to do this. Send a message like this,” I say. My voice is strong enough to surprise us both. “It was nice to see you, Kaelie, but I don’t want to hear anything from him. I don’t want to talk about him, or what happened, and I… just really don’t want to do this.” I rummage through my bag for my wallet and pull out the money to pay for my drink. “Have a nice time on the island.”

There’s a genuine shock in her voice. “All I wanted was-”

“He was sleeping with my best friend. For months,” I say. “With Cindy. You remember her, don’t you?”

She blinks at me. “Oh. Yes, I do.”

“Well, they were having an affair. Feel free to tell the rest of your family about that, including Caleb’s parents. I’m really sorry for their lost deposit, but… but honestly, that’s on Caleb. I’m done with him. Forever.” My chest is rising fast, and I can’t count the bills quickly enough. There should be enough money here. Five dollars, one, a few coins…

“Eden,” she says. “God, Eden, please sit down.”

I shake my head. There’s something in my throat, and I don’t know if it’s tears or a scream, but I don’t want to be here when it erupts.

“I had no idea. I’m sorry… Holy shit. That’s why he’s been so moody.” Kaelie runs a hand over her face, the pleasant, extroverted demeanor gone. Now she just looks tired. “I shouldn’t have come here like this. I see that now. Damn Caleb and his screwed-up requests.”

“Yeah. Can’t trust him.”

“At least you can cut him out of your life,” she mutters and half laughs.