Chapter 30: Dinner Gone Wrong
While we were having our supper, Desmond did not ask anything about my life seven years that we drifted apart. He only asked what could have gotten me going home so late and if Madam Ibanez was abusing us.
I wanted to say that yes, she was abusing us and not paying us very well but I only told him the positive ones because I had a feeling that he was going to take her down if I ever admitted that.
“How’s Daniel?” I asked after we were enveloped with silence.
Desmond looked at me before he lowered his head to the meal he was eating. He already had a second bowl of meat stew because he enjoyed it a lot. He even complimented me that he liked my cooking which made me blush.
“I am already considering Daniel to train as the next Alpha of the Rising Diamond,” he said as he played the meat with the spoon he was holding.
“Oh.” I nodded my head. I pursed my lips into a thin line when I almost smiled because if that happened, he wouldn’t get to know about Sander. Sander would be safe from the training of becoming the next Alpha even if he had the blood of an Alpha in his veins. “He will be a great Alpha then.” I expressed a small smile.
His jaw clenched. It looked like he was displeased at my words. “I am still considering it. But there is no final confirmation yet as I am still waiting for another sign.”
“Sign?” What did he mean by that?
He looked up and smiled meaningfully. “A sign that I have been patiently waiting, seraphim,” he said sensibly.
“I don’t understand.” I knitted my forehead. What did he mean by a sign he had been patiently waiting for? “I thought Daniel shall be the next Alpha since…” I paused, not wanting to point out that we did not have offspring.
However, we do have. I was just hiding it from him because I did not want Sander to know how bastard his father was.
Desmond scoffed and didn’t want to pay heed to what I said. His eyes focused on the meat stew before he ate it. “I have been wondering what would happen if we get to have a pup if only you did not escape from my pack and rejected our mate bond, Seraphina.”
I came to halt and became alert at his words. I tried to calm myself because he had no idea that I was pregnant with his pup before. That was my Sander, my little man.
“You paid no mind to me not conceiving a pup before. It did not become an issue to you,” I said nonchalantly.
He sighed. “Yes, I do not mind at that time and besides-”
“Then, why do you sound like you want to blame me that I did not conceive a pup?” My blood was boiling at the moment.
It suddenly reminded me of the deal between Desmond and Hazel. And that… I was infertile which meant I couldn’t conceive a pup even if we were married for five years.
Desmond looked troubled. “Seraphina… that is not what I mean.”
“Oh, really?” I smiled bitterly. “I bet you are regretting at those times that I was your mate and-”
“Enough!” I flinched when he slammed the table. He even growled a warning at me while his eyes were glowing in anger right now. It seemed I also offended his wolf. “Do not piss me off, Seraphina,” he said, infuriated.
“I am only telling the truth, Desmond.” I wanted to provoke him and spouted the bitter things I felt at that time he was making a deal with Hazel. “Isn’t that the reason why you slept with a courtesan before because, at that time, we had no pup yet? Am I right?”
He closed his eyes, looking like he was calming himself. But I could see how he was trying to hold back his annoyance as he gripped the bowl tightly.
“You told me before that you are not troubled but deep inside, you so wanted a pup that would inherit your Alpha position…” My voice croaked. “You just don’t want to hurt my feelings but what you did before hurt me.” I couldn’t help shedding tears.
I instantly wiped it off. My wolf was trying to console me. We both knew the struggle we faced when I got to see Desmond having a woman on top of him. To think that he would also sleep with Hazel… That was a huge blow which ended up absconding from his pack and breaking our mate bond with him.
Desmond did not say anything but he looked pissed right now. I could tell that he wanted to lash out at me but he did not dare so. But I could tell his eyes expressed a painful expression but he was just showing that what I was saying did not affect him.
That was the purpose. I wanted to hurt him emotionally and mentally just as how he ruined me when I was still married to him.
“It was hard to trust you even from this day. I do not even know your motive as to why you are still approaching me. Is this how you are going to punish me for rejecting our mate bond, Desmond?” I asked, not wanting to prolong this drama.
I wanted to know why he kept having me by his side even though I had hurt him in a most painful situation.
He pursed his lips into a thin line before he coerced a smile, looking at the meal he was eating. “I see… My past actions are still hurting you…” he said, talking to himself.
“You have a lover as you proclaimed before. But you are doing something behind her back and you are sleeping with me. That is why you looked down on me, thinking that I am still a courtesan. What you did right now was what you did to me back in our marriage. You never change, Desmond. One woman is not enough for you after all,” I said mockingly.
I could even feel my chest tighten. Even the corners of my eyes were stinging right now. The emotions I felt… I thought I had already told Desmond. I thought these emotions that were eating me had gotten off my chest already which was why I tried to trust him again.
Perhaps, I just buried those emotions deep in my chest. But the truth was I hadn’t gotten moving on.
I stood up when I felt like I wanted to burst some tears right now. “You already took my body so many times. Do you still not feel content?” I inhaled and exhaled, looking away. “Do you have to wait for your lover to find out about us? Do you even consider what she would feel when you are sleeping with someone?” I parroted. “Fucking your mate that rejected you?” I parroted.
Desmond was rendered speechless. Or perhaps, he just chose to remain silent as he did not know what to say about the accusations I uttered.
“I think you should leave and stop trying to make me your mistress, Desmond.” I gulped as I choked my sob Desmond flinched in his seat.
“Seraphina, I…” He halted when he saw that I was already shedding tears. He clenched his hands when he tried to reach me but I distanced myself from him. He looked annoyed but he couldn’t say it out loud. “I shall take my leave…” he said in a dejected tone.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and nodded. I was about to take his bowl when he was the one who took it. He even took the bowl I had in my hand.
“Before that, I wanted to express my gratitude for cooking me a delicious stew,” he said and remained quiet now as he was the one washing the dishes.
“Suit yourself…” I went to the drawing room to sit there while I was quietly listening to the clanking sound of the dishes Desmond was washing.
While I was sitting on the couch, I came to see Sander’s learning journal which was placed on the coffee table seeing that it was supposed to be closed but it was now open. My eyes widened as I got to turn my head at Desmond who was still busy washing the plate.
My heart was racing wildly as I took it and gulped seeing where on earth Desmond took this. I knew I kept it in the drawer of the coffee table.
How on earth did he get to pull this out? He had gotten to see Sander’s writings here!
That made me nervous. I flipped the pages and relaxed for a moment even though Sander’s writings were written here. All the contents of his journal were all about the things he had been practicing and wanted to learn more about.
I was even surprised that Desmond had even corrected some of the presumptions Sander had written. He also added some facts about the supply and demand which Sander was learning days ago.
“That journal is interesting.”
I jolted when Desmond arrived and finished washing the dishes. I looked up and saw his eyes sparkling.
“Who owns that by the way?”
I cleared my throat and hid the journal behind me. “It’s from my roommate. You should have not written something here,” I said as my voice slightly raised because of panicking that he got to see Sander’s handwriting.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
“It looks like a child’s writing.” I almost gasped at what he said but it was a good thing I did not react to it. “But anyway, I have to leave.”
I nodded and stood up so I could tend the door and opened it for him. “I shall escort you outside,” I said. I was afraid that he would get to meet Sander along the way since Dami and Lola’s flat was just almost near mine. They were on another floor so it was somewhat safe but I needed to make sure that I would see Desmond off.
We walked side by side as we were enveloped with silence. Neither of us was daring to start a conversation after what happened.
“I am going back to the Rising Diamond pack tomorrow.”
I glanced at him when we were walking through the pavements. “I see… Greet Declan and Daniel for me,” I said, talking about his younger brother and his nephew.
Desmond remained silent for a while. “Come back,” he said.
“Huh?” I parroted.
His chest was pounding so fast. But his expression remained stoic. “Come back to our pack, Seraphina.”
I looked at him in disbelief. “Are you hearing yourself? Why would I go back when I absconded from there?”
“What made you decide to abscond and choose to reject me? We are married for Moon Goddess’ sake, Seraphina.” He sounded begging right now.
It was kind of surprising to me because those days I was working in his hotel room, his voice was rough and hostile towards me. Right now, he is different. Sometimes he was stern and frightening, sometimes he looked like a lost puppy.
I don’t think I can read him anymore.
“Why don’t you ask yourself? You are to be blamed for all of this,” I said coldly.
Desmond knitted his forehead. He was clearly unhappy about how I talked to him. He scoffed. “I will know soon. The moment we see each other, I would make sure that you have no choice but to come with me, Seraphina,” he said meaningfully.
I was left speechless and watched him transform into his black wolf form. He glanced at me with an arrogant gaze before he decided to dash off.
I released a nervous sigh from that.
I had a bad feeling about what he just uttered just now.