HAPPY FOREVER AFTER

She threw herself the final distance, into the very heart of the firestorm “I won’t be living with you after the baby comes, Daniel.” Inside she writhed in agony. Only her voice revealed her pain, and only in its hollow emptiness. “I’m confident I can support myself. I don’t expect you to do anything for me. We’ll work out a custody arrangement before the baby is born.”

Emma sighed. Her vision was fading in and out with anxiety.

“Are you punishing me?” he charged in a voice filled with gravel. Because hearing her say this was torture.

“That’s not what this is.” Emma replied. In fact, she was beseeching him for understanding. “We’re barely speaking, Daniel. You don’t even come home for dinner sometimes.”

“To eat alone?” His tone lashed sharp as a whip. “No, thank you”.

He touched his forehead, then put his hand out in a halt, retaking hold of his own temper. She looked to the floor, unable to deny that she was avoiding him too.

“I know your concern for the baby is legitimate,” she said, trying to stay calm. “You’re worried about the pregnancy and I know you want this baby as much as I do. I know that. The baby is safe.” Pressure gathered in her chest. “But I need to be wanted, too.”

“I want you,” he said softly. “You know that”

“I’m not talking about physically!” Emma replied. “I’m saying you don’t want me… The way… You wouldn’t have leaped to all those suspicions so quickly, if you had any regard for me. You don’t want to believe in me,” she accused. “You don’t want to risk getting hurt, so you hold back, but you expect me to tie myself to a lifetime of being hurt by your accusations. I won’t. I want love and you won’t give me that.”

He sucked in a breath as though her words had been a body blow. “I didn’t want to lie to you. Be thankful you can trust me.” he said.

“I have been hurt too, Daniel” she cried, releasing the woman who knew when to abandon mediation and fight with the courage of her convictions. She pointed to the middle of her chest. “I didn’t want to fall for anyone else. But I did, I fell in love with you, Daniel. I told you before and it was like it meant nothing to you. You just overlooked it. And you have no idea how that made me feel. And now I’m starting to question whether I deserve to be loved.”

She closed her eyes and drew slow hissing breaths in her effort to withstand the hurt she was feeling.

Terror like he’d never known scythed through him, ghoulish and heart stopping. “Is it the baby?” he asked.

He reached to take her arm, but she jerked from his touch, like he was some kind of monster. “It’s not that kind of pain,” she choked.

Fresh concern slammed through him. All he could think was that he had to fix this.

Make her well. Make her capable of smiling again.

“Don’t go. Come home with me” he said gruffly.

She might have whimpered, as though he was asking more of her than anyone should. Then she visibly tried to pull herself together, brushing her fingers under her eyes and drawing a congested breath.

“You’re probably happy I’m hurting like this.” she said.

“For God’s sake, Emma. How could you think that?” he asked.” Of course I’m not happy you are hurting”

She didn’t even look at him. Just stared at the floor with such a dejected expression, he couldn’t bear it.

“Come here.” He held out his arms. His entire body hurt. He ached to hold her. Needed to. More than he needed his next breath.

She twitched her shoulder in rebuff, stepping back and turning away. The action kicked his heart out of its hole. It sat askew in his chest, throbbing and raw.

“Just because I don’t need you or your money doesn’t mean I’m not still the same opportunist you love to hate.” she said bitterly.

“Stop it.” he said.

“It’s what you’re thinking!” she cried, wildly waving an arm. Her eyes grew brighter, lips trembling until she bit them.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

“I don’t fucking hate you. I don’t hate you.” He ran his hand down his face, erasing the tension, but the constriction in his throat stayed there, turning his voice to gravel. “Stop upsetting yourself like this. Please”

She clapped a hand over her mouth and he tensed, hating when she was sick. Hating it.

But this wasn’t a nausea spell. She was holding in emotion, an anguish that was so painful. She shook her head, unwilling to descend into that pit of despair.

“I have to go home.” she said finally. “I really need to be with people who do love me. Just for a little while, before I can face you again.”

He did go white then, visibly. But he didn’t stop her when she walked out.

—————————-

Two hours after Emma had left, Daniel’s secretary rang through to ask if he would rejoin the conference call he had abruptly left.

His heart had leaped out of his throat at the news Emma had come to the office unexpectedly. He had known immediately that her reason for coming could only be bad news. That was all they had between them right now. Bad and worse.

He told his secretary he would remain behind his locked door, then poured himself a drink and stared broodingly out the window. At some further point, the sky darkened so he was staring at a view of slate and black with pinpoints of light.

The day was gone and so was Emma. He didn’t want to go back to an empty house. He should have stopped her from leaving. But how? She had made up her mind.

He tipped back his head and drew a deep breath, trying to regain his equilibrium. Trying to put himself back together. He didn’t hate her. How could she think that?

Her words echoed in his head. “You are probably happy I’m hurting like this.”

Was that really how she felt?

“I need to be with people who do love me.” she had said.