Dirty Seduction

ROSIE

I thought i’d be waiting a lot longer, sitting on the stairs, just out of view of the corridor. I didn’t want to be with Mum and Tom, I wanted to be here, ready for whatever was coming.

What ended up coming was Julian’s brother, fighting back sobs with his hand clutching the banister as he stumbled down towards me.

He didn’t see me at first, but when he did, he stopped dead in his tracks. I looked up at the tower of him, rising to my feet.

“You’re leaving already?” I asked, stating the obvious.

“Yes, I am. If you have any sense, you’ll stay the fuck away from him. My brother is a very sick man. I’m sorry for what he did to you.”

He carried on walking, but I put a hand on his shoulder as he tried to pass me by.

“Please, give me a second. Julian didn’t do anything to me, I swear, other than love me.”

Michael’s eyes were like my boyfriend’s. Beautiful in stunning green. He had the same arch of his brows. The same salt and pepper in his hair.

“Is that what he tells you? He’s fucked up. Please don’t listen to him. He’s done this plenty of times before.”

I shook my head, my hand still on his shoulder.

“No, he hasn’t. He hasn’t done this before. Not like he has with me.”

“Poor girl,” he said. “I hope you have a family that will talk some sense into you when they find out.”

“They already know. My mum knows Julian. She likes him, actually. It took her a while to accept us being together, sure, but she realises it now. He wasn’t after me, he didn’t pursue me, he isn’t using me.”

“Hardly hearts and kisses, I imagine. More like truss you up and enact his filth on you. He probably films it, too.”

Still, I didn’t let go of his shoulder. I held firm.

“There are more hearts and kisses than you could possibly know. Filth has nothing to do with it.”

His jaw gritted. “Filth has everything to do with it. It always has done. He most likely hasn’t told you the half of what he did, believe me.”

He pulled away from me at that, and took another step down, but I dashed forward, blocking his path on the stairs.

“He’s told me everything. About every girl, about how it all started, about the things he did, and the things he wanted to do, and how he kept it hidden.”

“Right, yes. And you’re still visiting him? You must need as much therapy as he does. Stay away from him, please.” I didn’t move out of the way.

“I’m not visiting him. I live with him.”

“You’re living with him? Jesus Christ he really has gone and done it this time. He’s fucked you over big time and you’re…”

“I’m what?”

He looked me in the eye. “Young. Impressionable.”

“Yeah, yeah, the vulnerable innocent. He hasn’t fucked me over. I’m there because I want to be. I was the one who approached him. I was the one who seduced him.”

Michael’s jaw was still gritted, firm.

“No doubt he built you up to it. Compliments, playing suave. I know how charming he can be.”

I shook my head. “No. He didn’t build me up to it. He fought it.”

He looked up at the ceiling, more tears welling up, despite his tough exterior.

“Didn’t fight very hard, then, clearly.”

“Trust me,” I said, “he fought it.”

I saw the slam of hurt there in his heart. His lip trembled.

He took a breath. “My brother is a predator. A deviant. He’s uses girls, and exploits them. Manipulates them into giving him what he wants.”

My stare was fierce. I didn’t budge an inch to let him past.

“How do you know that?”

“It’s obvious.”

“Why is it obvious?”

I remembered Lola talking to me about Peter, just as I’d talked to her about Julian. I remembered the assumptions people had made based on age and nothing else, and they were wrong. All of them. Michael was wrong about Julian, too.

“Of course it’s bloody obvious,” he said. “The girls are too young to know better. They go along with his games because he primes them. Coerces them. Builds them up over time, until he’s ready to strike. Just like he’s done with you!”

I tried to stay calm.

“I’m asking you again, how do you know that?”

I saw him bluster, he shrugged.

“Of course I know it!”

“How? Have you spoken to them? Any of them?”

“Hell no! That’s the last thing we’d want to do! Make the girls relive it.”

He sounded like one of the people from this place. So quick to condemn things they don’t truly understand.

“Maybe you should speak to them, don’t you think? Get their opinion before you make judgements?”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“And maybe you should get an opinion of a therapist before you head back upstairs even one more time.”

Still, I didn’t move.

“I don’t need one. I love your brother, and he loves me.”

He laughed, shook his head at me. “He’s old enough to be your father.”

“Actually, he’s almost old enough to be my grandad.” I shrugged. “It’s an age gap, nothing more.”

“A thirty year age gap. THIRTY YEARS!” Still, I didn’t budge.

“Yes, and so what? What does it matter?”

“It matters a LOT, I think you’ll find.”

“To who?”

“Everyone.”

I smiled, wishing he could see for just one second how his brother saved me, and stood by me, and loved me through the hell of it all.

“You mean it matters to you? Yes?”

His cheeks were tear stained, but his eyes were fierce.

“And his children. Grace and Ryan. Katreya. I doubt he’s told you about any of us.”

“He’s told me about you all. I know a lot, I promise you. I even know the colour of Emily’s last birthday dress. He told me how she bounced on Katreya’s knee when Grace brought the dragon cake in. I also know how much he misses you. All of you. So much he can hardly stand it.”

Michael didn’t say anything, so I carried on.

“He told me how you used to play rugby together. How once you were on rival teams, and wouldn’t speak for a week on the run up. He said your mum shouted at you over the dining table because you were giving each other scowls while she was trying to talk to you.”

He couldn’t help but smile at that, just for a second.

“I know how Katreya had an affair with Grace’s gym instructor. I know how he overheard her talking about him with her friends. I know how he felt when Grace’s friends got older, and he realised he wanted them.”

“Stop this,” Michael said at that. “He’s been filling your head with nonsense!”

“It’s not nonsense though, is it? Tell me which part of it is nonsense.”

“He’s using it!”

“How?”

“To seduce you!”

My eyes stayed calm. My smile was real.

“I seduced him. I can tell you how, if you like? I can tell you what some of the other girls did, too. How they hung around in the kitchen, pretending they needed a drink while Grace was in bed. How they made suggestions. How the university students brushed past him after lectures, begging for extra help with their studies, just so they could get his attention.