Arranged Bratva Love

Adelaide

“How does it feel to be pregnant?” I asked, looking over at Aurora.

She looks so happy and it’s a surprise to me. The man she’s married to doesn’t strike me as a kind man, or one that would be easy to love. He’s cold and cruel, and Aurora is the complete opposite.

“It’s surreal at times,” Aurora said, smiling at me. “Do you think you will be pregnant?”

I put a hand on my stomach and wonder. We were not using any kind of protection. My parents took away my birth control pills when Bethany was removed as Andrei’s fiancee. They said I couldn’t take anything that would stop me from having a baby.

The pills helped to control my menstrual cycle, nothing else. I’d never had a boyfriend or anyone I could have gotten pregnant by.

“I … I don’t know,” I said.

This wasn’t the first time we’d visited Aurora. Andrei and I were celebrating six months of marriage.

Six very long months. I was in a bit of a shock myself. We’d not been on a honeymoon and Andrei spent a great deal of time at work.

Ivan had come to visit us last week and told us both that we needed a vacation. Wrapping my arms around myself, I hadn’t seen my husband much during this trip. Ivan was also present, and at least one other brigadier as well. They called him Ive, even though his name was Ivan. Andrei had told me it was so there was no confusion. I didn’t tell him that I was already confused about the things they did. It wasn’t my place to tell them how to run things.

“Adelaide, are you okay?” Aurora asked, reaching out toward me.

“Of course. I’m fine.”

“You’re not happy.”

“I am. I am … happy.” I press my lips together. “I’m so happy for you.”

Aurora shook her head. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Pressing my lips together, I reach into my jeans pocket and pull out my cell phone. Andrei hadn’t taken it off me, even as we were on the plane heading here.

“Bethany sent me this,” I said.

My sister hadn’t stopped trying to drive a wedge between me and Andrei. I believed him, at least I think I did, that he wasn’t having an affair, but now I see this. It’s a picture of them, and I don’t know when it was taken, it looks like they’re in a nightclub of some kind. Either way, they are looking way too cozy.

Andrei hasn’t taken me to any clubs, and certainly no fancy restaurants. We don’t … date. I can leave his penthouse apartment and go to the shelter. He won’t allow me to see Nathan. That he has banned, and then of course, there are the few times I can have dinner with Aurora. There’s no real life for me, though. I’m constantly going through the motions until Andrei arrives home. That’s it.

That is the extent of my life-reading books, cooking, and just waiting. I’m bored, I’m lonely, and I had thought things would change, but Andrei is cold. He’s not mine.

“Bethany is a spiteful woman,” Aurora said. “I know she’s your sister and I’m sorry about that.”

I shrugged. “Bethany has always been this way. Trust me, I’m used to it.” I reach for the coffee mug, and bring it to my lips.

“Adelaide, talk to me.”

“Andrei told me he is not having an affair.” I don’t tell her that was weeks ago. “I trust him.”

“But?”

“Even if he’s not having an affair, and this was taken some time ago, it means that he was at least happy with her. Didn’t you see that?”

Is that what bothers me more? Andrei being happier with my sister? I’m the second choice. That’s who I am. It’s all I’ve ever been.

Aurora shook her head. “Stop it. No, I don’t believe that for a second.”

“Pictures don’t lie,” I said.

My words have Aurora laughing so hard. “You’re kidding, right?”

“They don’t.”

“Adelaide, I know you’re young.”

I’m twenty-one years old. Bethany is nearly thirty. My mother was quite surprised when she had me. I’ve always been a lot older than my years, though.

“What does my age have to do with anything?”

“Some photos are designed to be deceptive. You have no idea when this was taken or why it was taken. It looks like a professional shot. It could have done the rounds for all those media papers and stuff. Trust me when I say this, Andrei never looked as happy as he does with you.”

“You saw them together as a couple?”

Aurora nodded.

“Did Andrei smile?”

“From time to time.”

“Did he listen to Bethany?”

“Adelaide, you’ve got to stop.”

I put my coffee down and stood up. “I’m sorry, but I need some air.” I smiled at her. It was forced and I felt my eyes fill with tears, but I bat them down, refusing to allow them to leave. I’m not going to cry over him or this situation again.

Bethany was doing exactly what she set out to do and I knew that. She wanted to drive a wedge between me and Andrei. The sex was good. I enjoyed being with him, but I always felt like he was bored … I duck my head as I ignore one of the soldiers. I don’t know how Aurora lives with guns constantly on display. They still terrify me.

I find a door leading onto the back porch that overlooks the garden, and as I step outside, I take a deep breath. Leaning against the door, I suck in more oxygen, even as I feel my chest tighten. Anxiety threatens to claw its way up my body, but I fight it, using my breathing to ground me, to keep me from going over the edge that can suck me down too hard.

Opening my eyes, I look out over the garden. Aurora and Slavik’s home is beautiful. They have a special connection. What I’ve noticed in visiting them is that they don’t show it. Not in public, but I’ve seen them when they don’t realize anyone is watching, and I’ve heard them. Slavik is completely in love with Aurora. He would die for her. They are a love match. Even if they didn’t start that way, it’s what their marriage has become.

Andrei and I are not a love match. We’re a business contract. That’s why I know Andrei doesn’t really want me. The sex is good because he’s obligated to have sex with me. I overheard Ivan talking to Andrei one night a few weeks ago. He asked if I was pregnant yet, and Andrei said he expected it would happen soon.

What kind of man does that? He doesn’t want me. His touch isn’t filled with passion for me. I’m a duty.

Wrapping my arms around my body, I step toward the grass. Aurora and Slavik’s home is so big, anyone could get lost. Removing my sneakers, I take a step onto the cold, wet ground.

There had been a storm last night. I’d lain awake in Andrei’s arms, listening to the ferocious sound. As a child I’d always hated storms, and that hadn’t changed as I aged. I always feared that the wind would be so strong it would tear the roof right off whatever place I was at. I’d lie awake for hours, listening, terrified of what could happen. Oftentimes I’d fall asleep, and the next morning I’d see the devastation.

It was like Mother Nature was too afraid to befall the Volkov Bratva’s wrath, as there was no damage to his property. Even the trees didn’t dare shed any branches.

“Hello, Adelaide.”

I’ve already stepped into the wet grass when I look up to see Ivan approaching. His gaze seems entertained when he sees me standing on the cold wet ground. I’m freezing, but I’d rather feel the chill than the icy knowledge my husband doesn’t want me. It was easier to live with him when he ignored me. I’d rather be invisible than go through this.

I thought I could handle it, but seeing Aurora and Slavik hurt more than ever. Bethany’s constant taunts and pictures were eating away at me.

“Mr. Volkov,” I said, bowing my head and showing respect.

Ivan clapped his hands together. “Adelaide, you are forever a delight.”

I doubted that.Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.

“Did you conclude your business?” I asked. Andrei never talked to me about what he and the others did. I wasn’t expected to know, and for the most part, I kept my nose out.

Understanding his business wasn’t part of my job description, at least that’s what I’m always told. My job is to have babies. To shut up. To not make waves.

In that moment, I think about my parents. Not once did they make an effort to see me. When I’m alone, I’ll turn the television on and go check out their channel, but other than seeing all the boring shows every single day, nothing has changed for them. I sometimes checked them on the Internet as well. Random pictures would appear-my mother shopping, my parents out together or with Bethany. No news about the daughter they were happy to give up for that pleasure.

“In a sense.” Ivan stared at me. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

It was a perfect and easy mantra to keep saying. No one wanted the truth. They were happy with careful lies.

“You’re lying.”

I tilt my head back and look up at the sky. It’s dull. Not a single speck of brightness to be had, which was how I felt. Rubbing my hands up and down my arms, I know I need to escape this.

“I’m tired,” I said, making my excuses.

“You know you can talk to him, don’t you?” Ivan asked.

I glance at Ivan who is still staring. I wonder at times what is going on in his head. He’s always plotting. Always keeping one step ahead of the game.

Talking to Andrei was out of the question. It has always been out of the question. He has his own life.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” I said.

Ivan doesn’t stop me from leaving. I pass so many guards as I make my way to Andrei’s and my sleeping quarters. He’s not here and I’m glad about that.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I rest my palms flat on my knees and take a deep breath, then another, and then another. I’m still taking them, trying to calm my nerves, when my cell phone beeps. Pulling it out of my pocket, I’m almost hesitant to look. The last thing I want to see is another picture from Bethany. I promised myself I wouldn’t let anything she said bother me, but how could I be so foolish to think I would get over it? This is my sister we’re talking about. She takes great pleasure in hurting me.

It’s not from Bethany.

Nathan has texted me. I’ve not seen him in quite some time, and I miss my friend with his easy smile and heartwarming words.

Nathan: I need to see you.

Andrei asked me not to have any contact with him. So I haven’t. Leo didn’t approve of me seeing Nathan. I don’t have feelings for my friend. I’m not attracted to him in any way.

Nathan: I have to tell you something. I know what is going on, Adelaide. I can help you.

I doubt very much he can help me. Can he stop me from feeling this way? Can he stop my sister from hurting me?

Adelaide: I can’t talk right now. I’m away with friends. I’ll let you know when I’m back.

I’ll meet him one final time to let him know that I can’t see him. Pushing Andrei’s buttons is not sensible. He might not kill me, but I bet he wouldn’t have any qualms about killing Nathan.