Chapter 135
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I feel flattered that I'm included in the first memory you got back, Sabrina gushes in a playful tone, making me laugh even though this is the last thing I want. I told her about remembering the first game we went to together. To say that she is ecstatic would be an understatement. She also believes that it's just a matter of time before I will be able to remember everything again. I wish I were as hopeful as her, but I am not. My mind is busy with the enormous amount of thoughts that have been roaming inside it nonstop. Whenever I remember the way Silas reacted when we both realized that I had remembered something I smile like an idiot. His face broke into a huge smile and in less than a second, he carried me like I weighed nothing and twirled me around as I yelled at the top of my something." I ask you "Of course." She nods.
“།
lungs. "Ire?" I tell her as 1 cut a piece of the molten cake in front of me.
"Can I ask
"Why were you surprised when I told you that I started dating Everest?"
"Because... Fdon't think that he's the one for you," she cautiously says. I guess she's trying not to hurt my feelings. "I honestly don't understand why you broke up with Silas in the first place. Then, you suddenly started dating Everest out of the blue. and... I just felt like your decisions were rushed and it made me worried about you, because you have never been irrational I like how she's being truthful with me. I'm tired of people trying to be careful with me. She is blunt and honest and I'm thankful for that. "I have caused enough confusion and pain to Silas. I couldn't keep doing that to him. How was I supposed to keep him hanging when I wasn't sure of my feelings? It didn't feel right to do that to him, even if he didn't mind waiting for more." I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "Silas would have waited for you," Sabrina points out and I shake my head.
"Just because he was willing to wait, that doesn't mean that I should have taken advantage of how good he was," I tell her.
I don't want to say this out loud to anyone, but part of me regrets dating Everest. Whatever sparkled between us was purely out of admiration for someone I didn't know well and once I learned more about him, I became sure that Everest and I were completely different. I'm not sure what I am supposed to do now. There's a voice in my head telling me to break up with him, but there's another one telling me to wait because all I have been doing lately is making bad decisions. It's like I'm standing in the middle of nowhere and I have nowhere to go. "You're stressed and exhausted, Rosie. You need to take some time off. Maybe you should call Everest and tell him that you can't hang out with him today," Sabrina suggests. I'm incredibly tired, but lately, I have turned into a whiny creature who does nothing but annoys everyone around them, so I need to suck it up and go with the flow. I have exhausted the hell out of everybody around me and they don't deserve what I'm doing to them. Kendall and Sabrina have turned into my therapists and Silas has become my punching bag. I hate myself for doing that to him. The worst thing is, not once has be complained, except for that one time at the ceremony we were at and he did it in the nicest way possible. "I'm all right." I give her a small smile. I don't want to go on that date either, but I keep telling myself that my judgment is clouded now and maybe Everest isn't bad for me. I'm tired of pushing good people out of my life. What if he turned out to be another good person that I decided to cided to push away? I know that I barely remember them, but I know that I was once friends with some of Silas's teammates and their girlfriends, and even though I occasionally say hi to them whenever I bump into them, the friendship we used to have no longer exists. I feel like I don't have the right to be their friend.
I met them because of Silas and they became my friends because Silas introduced me to them. Without Silas in the
equation,
I would have never been friends with any of them. I don't want to put them in any weird position and I don't want Silas to think that I'm taking his friends from him. Not after I have taken a lot of things from him. "I will see you later." Sabrina says, getting up from her seat. I get up too and give her a hug before she leaves. I love the way she holds onto me for longer than usual, probably thinking that I'm in dire need of this hug and honestly, I am in great need of such hugs of any kind of support, but I'm not going to cay that out loud to anyone.
Everest arrives on time. We're going to watch a movie, then we're going to a pub to watch one of his friends who sings in a band.
"Hi babe." He wraps his arms around my body and kisses my lip I kiss him back although I don't want to. "Are you ready to go?" he wonders and 1 nod. I take my bag and Everest takes my land in his before we both walk out of the cafe. "How was your day?" I ask, attempting to make a conversation. In doing everything I can to give this relationship a chance.
"Nothing much." He shrugs. "I was at the office today for my internship, but it's as boring as you can imagine" We get into his car and I put on the seatbelt.
"But you know this i sis important for your CV. Companies now won't hire fresh graduates without experience and luckily. internships count as a sort of experience," I encourage him. I know how much he hates the internship he got because it's not at a big company, but it's
not like the company is
bad.
"Do you think your mum or dad could help me out?" he asks, catching me off guard. Everest makes sure to include my parents one way or another in our conversations and sometimes, I find it annoying. can ask my dad," I hesitatingly say.
"Thank you so much, babe!" he excitedly says and leans towards me to kiss my cheek.
We reach the movie theatre and check the movies. I find a movie I want to watch and as always, the movie Everest wants to watch is different than mine.
"Silas, In
I really don't want to watch another action movie," I tell him. The only time he let me choose was before we started dating.
"And I'm not going to watch a chick flick!" he exclaims, making my eyebrows crease in confusion.
"It's not a chick flick. It's a thriller, but the main character is a female. We're talking about a woman who kills. How on earth can this be a chick flick?" I argue.
"Whatever, Rosie. I'm really not in the mood for such movies. I'm not wasting my money on something I don't enjoy. His sentence renders me speechless.
"I can pay for myself" I point out.
"Of course, I know that." He lets out a short chuckle and I wonder what he exactly means.
"Whatever, Everest. Pick whatever you want. I can watch it later with Kendall or Sabrina," I mumble.
"Okay." Sometimes I feel like he takes me on dates because that's what is expected from him. I don't think I have ever picked something on our dates. He's always the one who makes the choice and they're constantly according to his liking, not mine.
I make my way to the popcorn stand and buy two small buckets of popcorn. He likes the normal salty one, while I prefer the caramelized one.
I hand him his bucket once he gets the tickets and the two of us head inside the theatre.
As expected, I don't find myself enjoying the movie. It's the third part of a series I haven't even watched, so I don't know how he expected me to enjoy it. I don't think he cares about my enjoyment. Maybe it's all about what he wants.
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We head to the pub ant to say that it is packed would be an understatement. It's a small one and the ventilation is terrible, so it only takes me half an hour to feel like I'm being suffocated,
I manage to stay for one song, then I tell Everest that I need to go because I don't feel well. Luckily, he doesn't pressure me to stay and I quickly get out of the pub. Fresh air hits my nostrils the moment I step out and only when I take a walk for ten minutes do I feel okay then.
I take an Uber back home. When I reach the apartment complext, I think about messaging Everest to let him know that I am home, but I remember that he hasn't asked me to do that, so I decide against it.
I hear some laughter, causing me to look up from my phone. I find Silas with a girl whom I have never seen before. She is really beautiful and I'm already in love with her curly hair.
"Rosie, how are you?" Silas says with a smile.
"I'm good. You?" I try to hide the curiosity coursing through my veins.
"All good. Let me introduce you to each other. Rosie, this is Maisie. Maisie, this is Rosie," Silas politely says.
"Hi Rosie, it's nice to meet you," Maisie cheerfully says. She seems super nice. Silas deserves someone like her. "Nice to meet you too." I try to plaster a real smile on my face. "I gotta go get some sleep. It's been a long day." "Are you okay?" Concern is obvious in Silas's voice.
"Yeah. There's nothing to worry about! Goodnight guys." I don't give Silas time to say anything else and hurry to the elevator.
I think being with Everest and seeing Silas with a beautiful and nice girl like Maisie is the universe's way of punishing me. And I know that I deserve this punishment for what I have put Silas through.
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